SmartLess: "Andy Richter: LIVE in Chicago”

Wondery | Amazon Music | SmartLess LLC 8/3/23 - 1h 6m - PDF Transcript

Transcript
Show Notes

Hey, listener, and welcome to SmartList.

Before we get into this incredible episode,

I want just a moment of your time

to set the stage a little bit.

Sean and Jason and I went on a SmartList tour last year

where we recorded 10 episodes live

in front of thousands of our biggest fans

from Brooklyn to Los Angeles, and guess what?

Right now, there are more live episodes

from our tour on Wondry Plus that you can listen to.

You can listen to these episodes four weeks early

and add free on Wondry Plus,

after which you can hear them for free

wherever you get your podcast.

Find Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

All right, welcome to SmartList.

We gotta make some kind of an announcement.

Yeah, so like they have notes.

They can't use cell phones.

Right, in the case of cell phones, they can't.

We're sorry that we're running late.

Yeah, but they shouldn't know that it's us

making the announcement, so what if it was somebody doing

like in an accent or something like that.

Okay, so please no flash photography.

No, no, no, no, no, but in an accent,

don't put it in an accent.

Wait, tell them to turn on your mic.

Can you turn on Sean's mic?

He's gonna do it in my mouth real quick.

Sean, okay, here we go.

Welcome to Chicago.

He just told me your mic's on.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, so Sean, you're from here, so you, Sean, use it.

Here we go, Sean, you go.

So in an accent?

Yeah, in an accent, they don't think it's you.

Okay, so any accent?

Welcome to Chicago, something like that.

Yeah, and then what else are you gonna tell us?

Well, then no flash photography.

Right, and what else?

And put your fucking cell phones away.

Yeah, I think I can hear an echo,

like you might already be on.

Stop, oh.

Oh, my mic's on?

Well, then, you know what we have to say?

Uh-oh.

Welcome to smart!

To smart!

Let's!

Hello Chicago!

Welcome to Chicago!

Oh, man.

This is so cool.

Oh, man.

You know, you hear the music, you get all pumped up.

Take a seat, take a seat.

Oh, please sit.

Oh, my goodness.

Wait, can we see?

I want to see the house lights.

We see the house lights in one second.

We want to see everybody.

Yeah!

Woo!

What were you thinking?

By the way, thank you for wanting to, thank you for wanting to meet us because we wanted

to meet you.

So we did this tour.

Why would you do this?

Oh, wow.

As Will might say, you've made a horrible mistake.

Yeah.

That's not the line, but fine.

Terrible.

It's been a few years.

No, not the line either.

Huge.

Huge mistake.

Okay.

Got it.

For those of you who might not know or even care, I'm actually from here.

So, I have like, I have like a zillion stories of how this place shaped me.

Okay.

Do you have a profile?

Oh.

We literally just ate portilloes.

I'm not kidding.

Yeah.

We did.

It was a real mistake.

I chewed five gas X in the last two minutes.

By the way, also a true story.

Yeah.

Because I had a coffee on top of it.

It's just, it's a bad science experiment.

Anyway, thank you for being here and coming out tonight.

It means the world to us and we're going to sit down now.

Yeah.

Oh, I got to look at mine.

You guys.

This is so cool.

Now, let me, this is your guest tonight.

Are you relaxed?

Yes, but I will be burping portillos throughout the night.

Do you want me to throw up some of my gas X in your mouth?

Yeah.

No, gross, gross.

And by the way, Sean thought it would be a good idea for all of us to have like these

beef sandwiches and, and chocolate.

Chocolate cake shake.

Before the show, you know, and Jason, who hasn't had anything but a salad for the last,

you know, four and a half years, it's, it's tough on your system.

I might, I might need a stitch later.

Oh no.

Wow.

The stomach's like, what is this coming at me?

Right.

Wait.

So I want to share a couple of stories from my childhood since I grew up here.

I can't remember how much of my mom's I told you about.

Yeah.

So I know, bless it.

This is going to be, forgive me if you've heard this, but I don't think I've said this

before on the podcast.

But so this sums up my mom in like one quick story.

She was the greatest mom ever.

I love her so much.

She's since passed away.

I'm sure death, clap for death.

And so, and she had a really dark sense of humor.

So at the, at two years old, she had cancer.

So she had her, her one of our eyes taken out and she, you know, growing up, she had

to keep resizing the eye and resizing the eye.

I'm not laughing at cancer or anything.

I'm laughing because my family, we would laugh because otherwise you'd cry.

So we've made fun of it and she would make fun of it and whatever.

But hang on a second.

What happens if you do not stay current with resizing the eye?

Great question.

Will it, will it, will it fall out with a sudden move?

No.

Well, your, your face would grow as you grow, but the eye would stay tiny.

Right.

So it might fall out.

It might fall out.

If you do not resize it.

Right.

So she, as she grew older and then she had the five kids and my dad left, you know,

all that story when I was five and then my mom raised all five.

No, they remember all these hilarious stories.

And he didn't, and he didn't really leave.

He put it in drive and punched it.

I think it's what it was.

Yeah.

It was a tire screech.

Right.

So.

I also have a masturbation story that I want to get to.

Sure.

Yeah.

But anyway, so.

By the way, tonight on a very special smart list.

What the hell?

Okay.

So my mom then, so she raised five kids very self.

And then to kind of give back when I had some extra money and I became tiny bit successful.

I was like, mom, I want to buy the house for you that we grew up in and the one next to

it and the on the other side, knock all three down and build your house.

And that's what I did, which was fantastic.

She deserved it.

Right.

And so, and so tore our entire family apart.

But anyway, so.

I love how much joy you get out of your own pain.

If you don't laugh, you'll cry.

Right.

So then, so then, so this sums up my mom.

So I put her in a condo while the house was being built.

And then I wanted to do like a big, like reveal.

Right.

And so the house is being built.

It took like a year and a half.

And I furnished the whole, like all new furniture, like silverware and like art on the walls and

sheets.

Like the whole thing was just turnkey.

And so she, I have the big move that bus moment.

Right.

And so she, right.

So she came in.

So we're all there.

The whole family is there behind the door.

And she comes in the door and she immediately starts, she cries her eye out.

And she, she is like, she's like, oh my God, this is incredible.

There was only one dry eye in the house.

And it wasn't real.

So, okay.

So anyway, so then she walks in, she walks in, she's crying her out and she walks in and

she goes, she's touching everything.

She's like, oh my God, nobody's ever done anything like this for me in my entire life.

I don't know that I would have picked out that couch.

And that's my mom.

Yeah.

And oh my God, my sister, my sister, you better get on your knee if you're going to propose

to me.

My sister brought her.

That's my sister brought my sister brought that gift for you guys today.

If that's her eye, is it an eye?

Oh my God.

Please let it be the eye.

Oh my God.

I can't see this, but it's an eye.

Yeah.

Is that?

That's my mom's eye.

Is this really your mom's eye?

Yes.

That's my mom's eye.

I brought it back to Chicago.

Oh.

Wow.

So she's going to keep an eye on us for the show.

Wow.

Isn't that nice?

Oh.

I'm curious.

Is there no odor whatsoever?

It's a glass eye.

It's a very pretty eye.

She looks like she may, when she got fitted for this, she may have been a little stoned

or just finished a long lap in a pool.

Not my mom.

No.

Anyway.

That's so nice.

That's so good.

Let's make sure we remember where that is.

All right.

I'm surprised it's not a ball.

Well, it's an eye.

I know, but aren't our eyes like round?

Like what did that?

It's just like a cap.

What would it stick to?

I wonder.

Well, do you have like, I don't know.

But you know, there was a little muscle and stuff.

Maybe it was like a ping pong, and then they put that on top of the ping pong ball.

No, no, no.

There was a little tiny, I'm not even kidding, a little tiny plunger suction cup.

And she goes, and pull it out to clean it.

So she would take it out and clean it?

Yes.

Hang on a second.

And then wait.

Of course.

And then when she would go bowling on Thursdays, I said this on the podcast.

We would have friends come over and knock on the door, and there was a chain, and we'd

open the door with the eye, and we'd go, who's there?

Like that, and shut the door.

Okay.

I want to meet you.

Do you say you wish you'd met his mom?

I second that.

I wish I would have met his mom.

I did.

I said in the car today, we were driving from the airport, and I said, or maybe it was on

the plane, and I said, I really wish that I'd met your mom.

She would have loved you guys.

We would have loved her, because we love you more than anybody.

She was the best.

Yeah.

All right.

So.

Isn't Sean Hayes the greatest?

Come on.

Let's get up.

Come on.

Everybody up.

Get up.

The best.

That's very sweet.

What did I say today?

You make me.

What did I say?

I said something remarkably nice, and I.

You did.

It was really sweet.

Well, we'll remember it later.

You forgot it.

For my guest tonight, guys, this is exciting.

Right.

I forgot.

Yeah, yeah.

I wanted to get.

I wanted to get someone who has some Chicago roots and who is a friend to us three, right?

Really?

Wait, we know this person.

You know this person.

This fellow went to University of Illinois and Columbia College.

You might know it as soon as I said he was in the original cast of the real live Brady

Bunch back in the nineties, which is one of the funniest things I ever saw.

He has since appeared in parts alongside Will Ferrell and Elf Talladega Nights and even appeared

in one of my all time favorite TV shows that had his name in the title.

Now, he may not have had his own talk show with his own name in the title yet, but he's

the biggest reason Conan O'Brien did.

It's Andy Richter!

No!

Andy!

Hi.

Hi, buddy.

No!

It is guy.

Andy Richter.

How are you?

Hi.

Hi, Valley.

Hello, hello, hello.

Hi, everybody.

Andy Richter!

How are you?

I was just, I was talking about it, right?

All we do is talk about it.

It's true.

I was like, oh, I got to keep it in.

I got to keep it in.

And today Andy tweeted out, and I read it to Sean when we landed here.

Andy tweeted out, he said, does anybody know a watch that's appropriate for fisting because

I'm trying to make summer plans?

And I thought, well, that's a great tweet.

Yeah, I mean, I'm traveling.

Sure.

It makes me think of traveling.

I'm thinking this summer.

What can I do with myself?

Sure.

Single now.

So sure.

Sure.

You know.

And Solomon Giorgio, who's a stand, a really funny standup, said, which hand are you going

to be using?

And I said, I said, probably the left, because I want to keep the right free for the TV remote.

Sure.

Wow.

Always multitasking.

No, I know.

You might want to hang out around Belmont after this.

But anyway, how nice of you to come out here and join us.

I am thrilled.

I was thrilled.

Very cool of you.

This is so exciting.

Sean asked, and I was really, I was actually kind of lucky because I was like, I've listened

to this podcast.

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

Double speed, you know.

I'm unemployed.

So it's, I have a lot of time on my hands.

But no, I really was like, after you asked me, I was about to text like, hey guys, I'm

going to, and I was like, oh no, idiot, it's supposed to be a fucking surprise.

Yeah.

All right.

But did Smarty Pants tell you it's a surprise?

Like, like, like, did he help you?

Yes, he did.

Okay, good.

He did.

Not in the initial text.

No.

And then I forgot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right.

And then you said, you sent the funniest text back.

I wish I had my phone.

If you want to chat about anything like beforehand, and you're like, oh, I can't wait to read

some of my poetry.

I said, you said, you said, you know, you want to know a little bit about what we'll talk

about.

And I said, well, first, I'm only talking about my poetry.

This crowd loves it.

Yep.

And secondly, I need at least 10 minutes to promote my new 24 year old girlfriend, Leilani's

vegan jewelry.

Oh, good.

Do we have a website on that or web address?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh yeah.

We're bringing a screen in.

Maybe you could sell the jewelry in the lobby when Sean comes here to do that play.

All right.

You're coming here to do a play?

I couldn't hear you guys.

Yeah.

What's the name of it?

They couldn't either.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm playing.

Anyway, guys.

Speaking of jewelry, have you seen Sean's new jewelry line?

Oh, wow.

Yeah, it's nice, right?

Andy.

Oh, wait, wait.

Wow, that is weird.

So, Andy, you're from here.

When's the last time you were here?

Do you ever jerk off in front of this?

Answer him.

I mean, it's a natural.

We were all thinking it.

That's so gross.

Wait, when is the last time you were here?

In Chicago, Thanksgiving.

My daughter and I came out for Thanksgiving.

Wait, but you didn't grow up.

I mean, you weren't born here.

Everybody's out in the Western suburbs now.

My sisters and my brothers are here with their families.

But where did you grow up?

I grew up in Yorkville.

Oh, OK.

Yorkville?

Yeah.

It's kind of out by Aurora.

Is it all right?

It's all right.

It's OK.

It's not.

Yeah, it's all right.

I mean, it's getting better.

You know.

They have a Bartillo's?

No, I don't think so.

They have a Bartillo's?

No.

I don't think they do have a Bartillo's,

but they have a water park now,

which they didn't used to have.

Oh, man, I bet it's nice right now.

And that town.

That town now.

The two, you know, like probably the most famous people

out of Yorkville are me and Dennis Hastert.

So, yeah.

It's a mixed bag.

You know, you say you were here at Thanksgiving.

This will always be the iconic place

for any sort of winter holiday

because of the John Hughes films for me.

Yeah.

Nothing says winter cozy holiday

than Chicago and the suburbs of it.

I just, I fantasize about that.

Because, you know, it's like 79 on Christmas in LA.

It's like you want to blow your brains out.

Yeah.

I know.

It's 79 years old.

No, no, seriously.

It's depressing.

To sweat on Christmas?

No.

Unbelievable coastal elites, right?

I mean, you know, I'm Canadian.

You guys are from Chicago.

And then these guys with their,

anyway, it's a bunch of BS.

No, you're right.

You're absolutely right.

It does suck.

When you grew up, you know, growing up,

you're one of the funniest people who I feel like

really hasn't gotten that huge opportunity

to kind of have your own thing.

Yes.

I'm very handsy.

So every job I get, I usually...

I know what you mean though, Sean.

You're the quickest.

You're maybe one of the quickest people ever of all time.

But that's like, because of improv, right?

Improv Olympics.

And talk us through how you started that

through Chicago.

Well, I started out at University of Illinois

and kind of...

Gola and I.

And I started there.

And I went there for two years

and then I decided to go to film school.

So I transferred to Chicago, to Columbia College.

And I got the fun thing of,

after being out of the house for two years,

got to move back home.

Oh, man.

Yeah, yeah.

What was the first big problem?

Was it bringing a girl home?

Was it your...

That wasn't that big of a problem.

Dude.

It should be.

Dude.

Did they find your bong?

No, no.

It's just my family,

and they're here.

They'll attest,

they're really annoying.

One asshole after another.

And, you know,

I mean, I'm pretty cool.

Sure.

Yeah, yeah.

Contrast is very stark.

Did you go through Improv Olympic with anybody

that you've remained friends with?

Yeah, actually, Kate Flannery,

who played Meredith on The Office.

Yep.

She was in my first Improv class,

and I used to...

And I've told her this since,

but she used to...

Before each class,

she'd be furiously writing in a journal,

and I always read over her shoulder

to see whatever she was writing.

It was always guy trouble.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you have any characters that you created there

that you remember that you loved,

or was there any kind of Improv game

that you loved that we could play right now?

Oh, oh, shit.

Oh, god.

Oh, no.

Okay, really, you want to...

I love that.

...bring out the hoops

and make us jump through?

I love that.

I love that shit.

I think it's so fun.

You shot a character right now.

Name and a point.

All right, you're a space dentist.

Go.

And then...

No, I mean, well...

Because you wrote a lot there, right?

Yeah, but, well, the...

There's kind of like this macho...

I was in Improv Olympic,

which is Del Close School of Improv.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's very...

There we go.

What event did you excel in?

Huh?

What event did you excel in?

Being fucking funny.

Yeah.

No, well, it was all long form.

Like, the idea was we would do this thing called a herald,

which is a long form Improv.

You get a suggestion,

and then, you know,

you fuck around for half an hour.

You try...

You do different scenes.

JB, like they do a desk yet.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like kind of like that.

Were you asked the audience for a subject or a word?

Well, wait, wait, wait.

By the way, for Tracy,

who's actually here backstage,

but she's not coming out.

She's not coming out.

Tracy!

See that?

Tracy.

Wait, wait, wait.

She's coming.

Wait, she's coming.

Wait!

You get out of here.

Wait!

Okay.

The real live Tracy.

She doesn't seem as dumb as Sean makes her sound, right?

I know!

Sean is going to say,

explain what askat is,

because it's such a great thing.

Never mind.

All right.

Well, no askat is...

They know what it is.

Yeah.

I don't mean...

You all know what long form Improv is.

I mean, it's fucking Chicago for Christ.

Yeah.

But you were here at that time.

What an unbelievable time.

I mean, Chicago is basically the home of improv in America.

And it's where, yeah, it is.

And all the people that, certainly all the people

that I look up to who are great comedic sketch

performers and improvisers are all people who came out.

I was also jealous.

Somebody asked me once why I never did sketch.

And I said, I was too dumb to think about,

I should go to Chicago and do that.

All these incredible people.

Forget the names are insane.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, well, like Matt Walsh, I mean, I always like to say

twice Emmy nominated Matt Walsh.

He likes it even more when you use it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tina Fey, Steve Carell, everybody, like so many people.

Yeah, Amy Sideris was here, Paul D'Anello, Steve Carell.

We will be right back.

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And now back to the show.

Tell me about writing and did you enjoy that?

And how did you then parlay that into the current show?

I'm a terrible at writing.

I mean, I'm good.

And one of the reasons that I liked improv

was because it was acting and writing all at once,

and I didn't get a chance to think about it.

Because when I sit down to write, I end up just like...

Right, yeah.

It's the hardest thing in the world.

When I was a little kid, my mother

put a desk in the basement facing a cement wall

for absolute sensory deprivation

to do my third and fourth grade homework,

which was so easy to do.

And I would be like, oh, my God, this will take 20 minutes.

Why are you down here for an hour?

Come on, just try it.

And I'd be like one question and go like, oh, my God.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's like kryptonite homework.

In front of a brick wall.

God, that sounds so healthy.

It was like, because I just was so distracted,

and then I just, you know, I just kind of,

like my kids have ADD too.

And like when they ask, the only advice I have to them

is like, well, you just have to do the work.

Like there's no, there's no secrets.

There's no secrets.

Yeah, this whole life, my whole,

living my whole life with not being able to get shit done.

It's like, oh yeah, right.

Wait, do you have ADD?

You just do it.

You have ADD?

I do, yeah, yeah.

Well, that's fine.

I don't think that...

It seems like everybody's got ADD,

so like, is it a thing, and how do you know?

Yeah, I agree.

How about it's just like a lot of shit's boring.

No, no, it's a real thing,

because there's a difference between...

What's the ADHD?

That's hyperactivity.

That's me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't talk about that.

Get a load of me disease.

But how do you...

Get a load of me disease.

How do you check for it?

Well, how do you diagnose it?

Like, is there a test?

Yeah, there's educational psychologists

that can diagnose it, and they...

And there's medication to treat it?

Speed, baby!

Are you...

Would they give you speed to...

Well, I mean, that's what riddling is.

Like, I actually was on ADD...

You know what Adderall is, too?

Yeah, Adderall, it's all just speed.

And like, I went...

I was on ADD meds for a while, years ago,

and then, like, just because it raises your blood pressure

and stuff, I start up taking them.

Right.

But my...

I would get a generic of...

And I don't remember...

It was Adderall, or one of them,

but I would get the generic, and the bottle just said,

amphetamine.

Oh, really?

And one time, yeah, like, one time,

I was shooting something down in San Diego

on a marine base, and they're like,

I have to go through your bag, and it's like,

amphetamine.

Yeah, yeah.

Those are for cracking and snorting.

Uh-huh.

So then, how did you and Conan meet,

and how did that happen?

Well, there's, like, some classified ads out in L.A.

Where...

Ha-ha.

Yeah.

Lonely people.

No, I...

You mentioned the real-life Brady Bunch.

That's what...

For Tracy, if you're listening,

or anybody who doesn't know,

real-life Brady Bunch was kind of like a stage...

An annoyance theater production

of Brady Bunch episodes.

Yeah, annoyance theater.

Yeah.

It was so fucking funny.

And by the way, Sean, sorry,

I just love seeing you go like, just so nonchalant.

And by the way, Tracy,

and you're just looking off your wings.

Are you listening?

Yeah.

Wake up!

What characters you play in real-life Brady Bunch?

I was... I played Mike Brady.

I mean, but that was like...

That's the dad, right?

Yeah, that's the dad,

because, I mean, me and Robert were bad.

It's been a while.

Fucking dead ringer.

No, wait, so it's Mike, Craig, Peter, Bobby, right?

Yeah, thank you.

Right, right, right.

There you go.

That's really good.

This is what they have to deal with with me.

I'm not quick or bright.

Wait, so I have ADD.

What did you say?

I played Mike Brady, but that was...

But I was like the third or fourth Mike Brady.

It was when it went from Chicago to New York,

the guy that was playing Mike Brady

also worked at the Inouyan's Theater,

like he was like a salaried person there,

so he couldn't go to New York.

So I asked Joey Soloway,

can I go along, you know, buy me a cheap wig?

All right, you know?

So was it like that tight, curly wig?

Oh, it was awful.

It was seriously like a $17 wig

that was like a bathing cap with hair on it, you know?

I feel like I got a bit of a Carol Brady going right now.

I need to cut this flip so bad.

You need a little bit longer.

Well, Jane Lynch played Carol Brady in the show,

and she had just like the shittiest,

like little Carol Brady flip

that had like a just an elastic strap

that she like hid under her bangs.

That she just would strap on, you know.

Who played Alice and how was she?

Mary Weisson, she was great.

She was sort of originated the role here.

She's kind of like a more musical theater person.

I would have played Tiger.

That would have been fine.

Tiger, the dog.

Well, it was such a big thing that we all pitched in,

you know, it was like, when I heard they were gonna do it,

I thought it was the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard.

Right.

And then when I saw, I saw the first night of it,

I don't know that I've ever laughed harder.

Sean, you saw it.

Yeah, a long, long time ago.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because everybody in it was really talented.

Oh my God, so funny.

Have you met Conan there?

No, I did not.

See, you gotta bring him back on track, guys.

Right, right, right.

For you.

You gotta keep your eye on the prize.

I, we went to New York and then the Brady Bunch moved to LA

and I went to LA with the Brady Bunch.

And in the meantime, Betty Cahill, a Chicagoan,

who was a friend of mine that I went to Columbia College with,

she had, she was on SNL for a season.

And that summer, she was in LA.

Do you point a lot?

Do you point constantly?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's my Bernie Sanders imitation.

I'm kidding.

And then we, no, we, she comes out to LA.

She comes out to LA, I hang out with her.

She's friends with Robert Smigel.

I meet Robert Smigel.

Robert is going to be the head writer on Conan's show

and says, do you want to meet Conan O'Brien?

Did you know Conan was at the time?

Was Conan already on the air?

I knew that he was the guy.

One question at a time, man.

I knew that, no, no, no, no.

He had just done, he had just done like a screen test

kind of thing.

And, and I just, it was just announced.

This guy who was a comedy writer on The Simpsons

is going to be the replacing David Letterman.

I just heard about it like anybody else.

And then like two days after it happened,

I went to Jeff Garland was taping a pilot in LA

where he played like, like a New York cop,

like a lovable guy, which, you know, Garland is a cop is,

of course.

He's absolutely a cop.

Yeah, totally the world's shattiest cop.

Yes, exactly.

But I actually went to that with Kate Flannery

and we sat in front of Bob Odenkirk,

who was there with Carol Liefer.

And I totally, totally eavesdropped

on them talking about Conan.

Cause Bob is very good friends with Conan.

And Bob actually, Bob and his brother, Bill,

actually in the beginning of late night came out

and wrote on the show for a couple of months.

Wait, wait, and Bob and Conan were roommates at one point.

Yes, here in Chicago.

Yeah, during the right, they were working on SNL

and there was during the writer strike,

they came here and they did a live show.

This is Bob Smigel.

Bob Odenkirk.

Oh, Bob Odenkirk.

And Bob Odenkirk was in that show too.

Robert Smigel, Bob Odenkirk, Conan,

Jeff Garland was here at that time too.

I think they stayed there.

Unbelievable.

I mean, like just heavy hitters.

How did you get from meeting Conan there

to becoming such a close friend with him

and then becoming the co-host

of the Conan O'Brien show?

Look at you, they're like,

they're like cheering on for you.

They've got bad ADHD.

We try to sit them in the front.

Yeah, yeah.

Look at him go.

Asking questions like a big boy.

What was the moment that you and Conan met?

We arranged lunch in Los Angeles at Junior's Delicatessen.

Junior's Delicatessen.

Sure, sure.

Junior's.

And no longer there.

I ordered food.

Conan ordered a can of Coke.

And I was like, because for me it was,

someone was paying for lunch.

So bring it on.

And we just hit it off really well immediately.

We could be as stupid as we wanted with each other.

Was it just to be friends or was there, was this a?

No, it was to get a job as a writer on the show.

As a writer.

You think it was a date?

Well, I don't know.

I mean, they're both handsome girls.

We were spooning in a booth.

But so because the notion of you being on the couch

with Conan during that show all the time,

was never really part of the plan, question mark?

But I'm not supposed to say the question.

Rising intonation, I could tell.

Okay, good.

You're not talking to Siri.

Yeah, no.

Yeah, yeah.

He does, by the way, he does do so much

of dictating his texts while he's driving.

And you know people who do this, but you'll be in a room.

We'll be all in the, we've been on the road now

for like a week or whatever.

And Jason will be in the corner and he'll be going,

hey honey, are you there?

Question mark?

I'm just gonna, dot, dot, dot.

Dot, dot, dot.

Call me back when you get a second, comma, and blah, blah, blah.

Can't wait to see you.

Italics.

XO, XO, smiley face emoji, heart emoji, kiss emoji.

For real?

Well, who doesn't?

Who doesn't?

But wait, so, so.

I got hired as a writer.

Right, right.

And there was like an implicit promise

that you're gonna perform at some point, too.

And then just as the show evolved

and he started doing test shows in studios around.

He realized he wasn't enough.

No, no, Robert Spiegel.

I mean, no, that's still a few years off.

Um, but he, Robert Spiegel just went,

go sit with him and keep him company.

And which was like, we'd worked together long enough

to know like, oh yeah, that's something that needs to be done.

Spiegel, by the way, was the guy who did

the little mouth thingy.

Cut into the face, right?

Saturday TV, Fun House.

Are you talking about that?

Spiegel's the insult dog?

Yeah.

Well, but he also was the guy with the mouth behind.

Oh, on Conan when they put the other mouths.

We called those clutch cargos.

No, wasn't it?

Was that his hand?

Oh no, I'm thinking of the in-laws.

Oh my God.

With Peter Falke about to arc it.

That's Senior Wences.

I'm so old, you guys.

This is all starting to go.

So, wait, I've always thought, you know,

because obviously we love Conan.

He was on the tour with us already.

He's amazing.

But I always thought when I watched it, you know,

every single kind of wisecrack you kind of cut in with

or any, it was always fucking so funny.

You just waited and then you went,

bam, like right in there.

And I was like, he could have his own talk show.

Is there any kind of aspiration to do that?

Because it seems like you could so seamlessly.

Did you ever try to kill Conan?

I never did try to kill him.

And honestly, it was, it was,

I was happy to have that position.

I would not want, like there was so much of just

the time that I've spent being his TV wife.

There was so much stuff that he had to deal with

that he kind of likes dealing with

and that I'm just like, leave me alone.

Like it's just, he has to have so many meanings

and he has to know so many-

It's a lot.

Pukie, you know, like executive types

and remember their names.

I don't know anybody's name.

And I have to say-

You just want to do bits.

I just want to, yeah, just, I want to show up.

I want to make television.

I want to make funny stuff.

And I don't want to have a bunch of boring meetings.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Baby wants fun.

Yeah, yeah.

I bet you both these guys would agree

that any time we were on that couch,

the idea that you were right here the whole time

was very comforting.

Oh, very, very comforting.

Yeah, I loved it.

It was like, it was great.

I loved it.

I was smelling your hair.

Yeah.

I mean, if that-

It's hard not to-

Is that the comfort glue?

But it's mostly the glue for the glue.

Again, you know, not unlike Chicago,

you were at Conan at a time

when you guys started doing that show,

you really kind of once again broke the mold.

Dave had done it with Letterman in the 80s.

Yeah.

And then you guys re-did it.

You had amazing writers,

most of whom were sketch performers,

or a lot of them from Chicago.

Yep.

Who came-

It was a real Chicago-Boston kind of split.

It was unbelievable.

And you guys did so many unbelievable sketches.

You guys remember in the early 90s and late 90s, whatever,

there were so many amazing moments.

Yeah.

Being there at that time, was it exciting?

Every day where you're like,

fuck yeah, I'm so psyched to go in there

and do these bits and work on this show.

No.

Great.

Good night.

I mean, you know, it's like-

What do you mean, no?

You weren't?

No, not every day.

I mean, you know what, am I Pollyanna?

Am I skipping to work in my shorts or the big lulley?

Well, you need to learn to appreciate it.

How heavy was the lift though?

I mean, like you'd get in there,

you guys would shoot, what, about five o'clock, right?

Oh no, in the beginning it was brutal.

So you-

We were on 47 weeks a year, five days a week.

How long was the day for you?

You'd get in at what time and leave at what time?

10 a.m. and usually leave around midnight.

Really?

In the beginning.

Every day?

Yeah.

The fuck would you do for 14 hours?

That's a one hour show.

Right bits, right bits, produced bits.

What's the staff for?

Well, when I got hired, I was a writer.

You know, I was on the show too and in the beginning.

What do you mean?

No, I know.

Look at how tired he is thinking about it.

I know.

I mean-

What do I mean if-

Hey, portal to portal.

No, no, no.

Who fed you your soup?

For a one hour show though,

you would think it would be a shorter day,

but not every time-

Wait, wait, can I just tell you something?

This is really on brand for this.

And I just want to talk about

what happened backstage today.

Oh my God.

So, hang on, can I just tell-

That's probably before we came out?

Yeah, so I just want to say,

so everywhere we go, we've been on tour for a week.

And Andy, you're going to appreciate this

because you've known Jason for a long time.

By the way, I drank out of that.

Yeah.

I don't care.

He's been super-sneezy, super-

And his mom's eye came in that too.

Go ahead, sorry, sorry.

So, everywhere we go, we have the special water

and almonds and popcorn.

I didn't ask for any of it.

So Jason starts going, it dawns on him and I'm like,

everywhere we go, we're the popcorn

and the almonds and the lemon water.

And they're like, where is this coming from?

And then we find out.

Well, look, I, hey.

But I said, I said, it dawned on me that like,

all my, all my favorite things,

because we're all staying in the same hotel room.

We thought it'd be fun and funny.

It's a fucking drag.

Are you really?

So, yeah.

We're all staying in the same hotel room.

It's fun, it's great.

But all my shit is in there.

There's lemon perfect.

A great beverage.

I highly recommend it.

It is a great beverage.

Almonds.

Daddy likes almonds.

There's a certain kind of candle

that I do like a nice smelling candle.

Oh my God.

By the way, by the way, and there's, there's, there's skinny.

Oh my God.

And skinny pop, pop for it.

And every time, right, every time I walk in, I go,

skinny pop, go ahead.

So, but I realized that whomever was tasked

with getting this stuff in the hotel room,

in the dressing room, must think I'm a fucking monster.

Yeah.

And rightly so.

But the point is, I'm trying to find,

but I'm trying to, because I never asked for it.

I'm trying to track down.

It must be one of my friends from back home

that told whoever is arranging things here.

Oh, by the, I just want to make sure they just say,

don't make the mistake of not having X, Y, and Z.

I hopefully it was like, oh, by the way, just,

if you've got something, you know,

Jason happens to like such and such,

and I think the guys like it too.

It wasn't like that.

And the best part was, Jason was like,

how come there's nothing for,

you and Sean don't have everything.

And I was able to, you know, when you get on the high road,

And it's open.

And you're able to be just super chill on the high road.

And you go, because we don't need anything.

Well, wait, Andy, Andy, I want to get that.

I know, I know, I know, I know.

I know, I know.

So wait, Andy, I want to show,

you remember the time,

the time that you, there was some kerfuffle

about you in line at the Apple store.

Oh, fuck.

Do you all know about, yeah, they didn't see it.

Clearly, they already know it.

Oh my God.

We already talked about it.

That was so hilarious when that happened.

And I think I saw you like the day after,

and you were like, I was not caught in the line.

But wait a minute, I want to get back,

I want to get back to-

You've already told the story, so they know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to get back to just a little bit about Chicago,

because Chicago,

Hey, what's going on?

And I want to get back to Chicago,

and everybody knows there's so many great,

great music and great bands and everything like that.

Or from here, did you have anything like that growing up

where you just, anybody you loved,

or maybe somebody now or whatever?

Because I love, I was in a band called

Sounds from the Stairs.

Hold for applause. Thanks a lot.

For five years.

What was Sounds from the Stairs?

Oh, it's all keyboard and synth.

But what was the significance of the name?

None of your business?

Wow.

Sounds from the stairs.

Sounds like they started practicing

in the basement of mom's home.

That's exactly what it was.

It was.

That's exactly what it was.

What kind of songs?

Oh, just synth pop.

Yeah, well, an example.

Like we would do covers of The Cure and stuff like that.

Oh my God, that sounds so cringy.

Sean doing synth pop.

Did you have a smoky eye?

We'll be right back.

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And now back to the show.

So I would be that, you know, like when you play keyboards

in a band, you can't really like, you know,

jam like you can a guitar,

cause you can't jump cause you missed the keys.

That's why they invented the keytar.

No, right, the keytar, right.

But I only played Santa so I'd be like,

I'd be jamming out and then whenever it was my turn,

play I'd go.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

It was awful man.

Wow.

It was awful.

That's like the basis.

Yeah, yeah, that really says goth too, all of it.

Yeah, absolutely.

But what about you?

Did you ever do that?

Yeah, did I?

Was I in a band?

No, I was not in a band.

Is this saying I'm nominated for best host?

Oh, anybody that I love?

Well, like at the time when I was young here,

like smashing pumpkins were still like around, you know,

like that was the big band that everybody talked about.

And then there was always, you know, lots of Wilco blues

and Wilco.

Yeah, yeah.

Wilco is great.

Well, it's so funny because we keep,

these guys turned me on to Wilco

when I was reading about Jeff Tweedle

and how incredible he is.

No.

I mean, Tweedle.

No.

Tweedle, I can't visit.

No.

Tweedle, hang on.

Let me just finish.

Jeff Tweedle about how.

You're fired.

Hang on.

Boys.

I was right.

I just want to make sure we got that, right?

Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I was reading about Tweedle.

Tweedle.

We're rolling.

That is a perfect example of stuff

that goes through the Sean Hayes filter.

I was reading about Jeff Tweedle and how amazing he is.

And he's not only like a songwriter and a musician

and a record producer and a Grammy winner.

He's also here in Jeff Tweedle!

No.

Ha ha ha ha.

No!

What?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Wow.

Oh my gosh.

That was nice.

Wow.

Hey Jeff Tweedle.

Hey, I know you.

I never see you.

And I've never met you.

I've never met you.

Come sit in the middle.

All right.

Sit in the middle.

All right.

Oh my gosh.

It's, this guy's, he's freaking out right now.

Yeah.

Have you never met him?

I have met him.

I met you on a tour bus,

but I was not in a real good place to talk

because I'm a little,

I was a little starstruck like I am now.

Oh no.

Good lord.

It's so cool that you're here.

Thank you.

Wait, aren't you in the middle of recording

an album or something?

We are.

We're recording.

Yeah.

Wilco's recording in the studio.

Yeah.

On Instagram, I saw a photo of,

I don't know if it's your basement

or some room in the house.

You have like hundreds of instruments in this room.

And where is that in your house?

And did you have that growing up?

And your kids love that?

Or what's that?

Oh no.

No.

I didn't, we didn't have any instruments.

They had a bucket.

Really?

Yeah.

Were you facing a wall with a desk?

Yeah.

I had a desk in the basement.

So that's like a Chicago thing.

Yeah.

Kids in the basement against a wall.

Like a visual stimuli.

Okay.

I have to say, I was asked to come out here last night.

Yes.

And I was like, oh, that's exciting.

I went to sleep and I dreamt that you were my best friend.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

A lot of people have had that dream.

And so, yeah.

I have that dream every night.

So in my dream, I get so excited about getting to do this,

that I go and tell you.

Sure.

And you start crying.

Because I ruined the surprise of me being here for you,

because I forgot that you were on the show too,

because I was excited about meeting you.

No.

But you are really upset with me.

That's what's very upsetting to hear even now as a dream.

Yeah, I was just like,

I got asked to do this amazing thing.

I'm going to be on this podcast with you.

And then what happens?

Sean Hayes calls you Jeff Tweedle.

You know?

Yeah.

How many times has that happened?

I didn't hear that, but now I know.

I rehearse my little bit with Randy all day.

All day.

And I got your name wrong.

That's all right.

Now, I read a recent interview of yours where,

I love this, because I love talking about this.

I'm a musician as well.

I studied piano for 20 years, but classical,

not what you do.

It's stunning, by the way.

And so, I love what you said about creating music.

Something about like, your mind disappears,

but you're also present at the same time,

and that's when you become creative?

Like, explain that, because I think that's fascinating,

because I only got the disappearing part.

Well, that's helpful, isn't it?

I mean, that's like, that's like, that's one of the,

we all look for things to do that are,

you know, a way to kind of transport ourself

outside of the burden of being in our bodies, or be-

Jason takes gummies for that, yeah.

Yeah.

But so you were, so you kind of have one foot in

and one foot out?

Oh, I just think that, you know, you just try and put yourself

in the path of doing something creative.

And what I feel like I get out of it more than anything

is these moments that just kind of go away

without me having to like, consciously try and kill time,

or be, you know, thinking about something

that I don't have control over, or you know, just like,

but just, I think a lot of like, games,

crossword puzzles, like those time sucks,

a lot of things do that, but I think that there's something

nice about having activities that you kind of come back

from that experience with something

that wasn't there before, like a writing,

or a song.

I love that.

Can I ask-

Where's the ball?

Calm down.

Okay.

Yeah.

So, but, I mean-

Like, I'll let the robot speak.

I would ask this to any musician,

as I would like, a writer of like, books or screenplays.

I'm assuming when you write a screenplay or a book,

you're writing and then the next word kind of falls

in the next, and how should the story go?

And it just kind of falls out in a natural progression.

Is it the same way when you're strumming

and you're kind of trying to come up with a new song

and you find a good rhythm, and then just naturally,

because you have great taste,

oh, this chord would sound good after that,

and by the end of a few minutes,

you've got yourself a song?

Is it that easy?

Or say what to that?

Question mark?

That can happen, but that's not normally how it happens.

What, is it normally like, there's a certain structure,

a certain chord has to follow, another sharp thing?

Like, is there like a recipe?

Oh, you do, well, you listen to-

You listen to-

It's so logical, I love it, I love you so much.

And I'm pulling for you.

How?

Yeah.

How does music?

Yeah, this is-

How does music?

It like math equation?

Yeah.

I'm not-

Sounds arranged!

No!

Not compute!

I'm not no thing.

Processing.

See, I've got a battery pack in every phone mic.

All the wires!

Help me, Jeff!

I can help you, I can help you.

You're like, you're, you improvise conversation

all the time, because you have a vocabulary.

You learn a vocabulary and you learn certain phrases

and things that you like, and you express yourself

and you tend to repeat some of those things

because you know they're effective and how they,

you know, you're able to communicate when you use those.

There's no different with music.

There are certain building blocks of the vocabulary

that you get from your record collection

and from things that you like

and things you care about and other songs that you've written.

And eventually, it does become sort of conversant

in a way that you can construct a sentence

or a story out of whole cloth

just by sitting down and saying,

I wonder what would happen next.

But the most fun part about doing it

is the discovery for yourself.

You know, that you don't,

you don't really know where it's gonna go

and that's, that's the, I don't know,

that's the, my favorite part of it.

Isn't that a rad answer?

You're glad I asked that dumb question?

No, it's a good question too.

And Andy.

Yeah, you guys are making fun of him.

He's the only one that cares.

We're just doing it for the fun of it, just for the sport.

But Andy, you, you get that, right?

I mean, that's what improv comedy is about too.

That's a similar language in that way.

Yes, definitely.

And you do, especially when you're doing improv,

like you learn little tricks or little rules

that they're not like the things, you know,

discoveries pop in.

Like I remember when I was doing improv on a regular,

you know, like whatever eight shows a week or something,

there were times where we'd be on stage

and there'd be things coming out of my mouth

that I didn't know.

Like it just felt like autopilot and like,

holy shit, I'm good at this, you know?

And, and so, but it doesn't happen now.

But, but it is, it's, you, you learn tricks

to kind of just keep the ball in the air

until you like have that real moment of inspiration

that, you know, like the really new thing, you know?

Yeah.

Jeff, can I switch gears?

Your son, Spencer, is still playing drums?

He is, yeah.

And so my other son, Sammy, is singing with me.

No way.

Not, yeah, not in Wilco, but we make records,

my solo records are mostly with my kids.

It's incredible.

We came, do you remember years ago,

we came to see you at Madison Square Garden

and I was with Fred Armisen and Amy and we went in there

and then these guys go on and Wilco go on

and then Jeff welcomes his son

and Spencer was like 12 at the time, maybe?

I think it was his 13th birthday.

It was, it was his 13th birthday, that's right.

That's what he just said.

And he got up, yeah, that's what he just said.

Yeah.

He just said it just now.

Yeah, he said it.

Holy shit.

Yeah, I don't know how you do it, love.

But here he goes on, he's 13 and he plays with you guys

at Madison Square Garden.

That's so cool.

Was he cool with it or was he nervous?

He was pretty nervous, but he was cooler

than I would have been for sure.

Yeah, you don't know fear at 13.

And cooler than I was actually on stage looking at him

like I'm forgetting the lyrics, you know,

because I'm so worried about him, you know.

Do you commonly get anxious in front of a large audience?

No, I'm here all the time.

I mean, Andy as well, like, I'm sure you guys have had,

like we also have had probably moments where you have

a performance, whether it's live or on camera,

that you're totally relaxed or, and you might think

it's not that great and it probably isn't.

But I do my best over there.

I got a healthy level of anxiousness or nerves.

Do you like to find that place?

I think it's a great place.

I think it's a great place for anxiousness or nerves.

Do you like to find that place?

Um, I mean, not really.

You'd rather just be totally...

Yeah, I, for this, you know, bullshitting,

being funny while bullshitting, it's much better

to just be free and loosey-goosey and not,

you know, because I, it shuts me down.

Being nervous shuts me down.

The energy that you might have for...

I just don't work that way.

What makes you nervous?

What would make you nervous?

A glass eye.

Real answer.

No, not a glass eye.

I hope not.

No, like, well, like if I had to, like, sing,

you know, or do something like that.

Alright, let's hear it.

Here we go.

Just to the national anthem.

Oh, sick.

No, I'm not gonna.

But I still get nervous when I do improv now.

Really?

Yeah, because, and because for years too,

even after, like, after I was a grown-up,

and I was doing, you know, grown-up improv,

I mostly would just do monologues stuff,

because a lot of the long-form improv

will have a guest monologist,

especially the UCB, ASCAT version,

has somebody come and tell monologues,

and then the people improvise based off of that.

So I would do that a lot,

and I'm very used to just sitting and being myself,

you know, in a venue kind of thing.

But to actually have to do improv is now scary,

because it's a different, you know,

it's like I don't do it all the time,

and it's time we say, people will ask me,

like, do you want to come do our improv show,

and I always say, like,

I don't want to leave the house to get nervous.

What about you, Jeff?

What makes you nervous?

Oh, I think it's good to not be too relaxed.

I think it means you care, you know,

when you're a little bit nervous.

You know?

But I feel confident and nervous most of the time, you know?

Would you feel confident and or nervous

to sing us a song right now?

Wait, what?

We can't pay for that.

I didn't bring a guitar.

And yeah, you didn't pay for that.

Wait, you didn't?

I haven't signed the release yet.

Oh!

Oh, no.

Oh, my goodness.

Is that your son?

That's Sammy.

Is that your son?

Hey, yeah!

This is so wild.

Repping the local head shop that just went under.

Oh, no.

Do they need someone to buy a large order of things?

I brought my wallet.

A large order of things.

You know, I was going to say...

This is blowing my mind.

I was going to say the thing that I've learned to get used to on stage

over the years is,

early on and for a long time,

I think you have an evolutionary ability to pick out danger

that comes from being on the Savannah or something, you know?

Yeah.

So I've had to teach myself how to ignore the guy yawning.

Or like, you're like, you can stand...

Everybody can be having a great time and I will find you.

I will find the person looking at their phone.

That unlapping motherfucker I stare at him every time.

Yeah, so it's like...

I can see it through the mask, too.

I spent 20 years going,

what the fuck is wrong with that guy?

I know, I know.

And I finally just went, oh, this person is delightful.

Yeah, I did a one-man show on Broadway called

An Act of God, an opening night.

And you guys didn't see it.

Fuck off.

I did.

She saw it.

Don't tell her what she did or didn't do.

So you and me, that's it.

It's a 90-minute monologue.

It was impossible to memorize.

I did it.

And an opening night, it was so great.

Everybody was laughing.

I just focused on one person.

Not into it.

Wow.

He didn't like it.

You know what, though?

I mean, it's very...

Not to open up a larger discussion,

because you're going to play it,

but it is very natural.

I think that we do that as humans.

We can have 95% of our life going really, really well.

And 5% doesn't worry.

There's always going to be 5%.

And we focus on that.

And it's taken me...

I'm going to be 52, improbably.

I agree.

I don't believe you.

I mean, good God, look at that thing.

Why, Andy, go on.

Wow.

But it's taken me this long.

It's only been within the last couple of years

that I realized that, like, yeah,

I'm so stupid for focusing on that shit.

Why wouldn't I focus on all the stuff that you got?

Twitter is based on it.

Yeah.

I think Twitter is based on that.

That's true.

It's true.

Reality.

All right.

So...

I wish I knew how to play drums.

That is so cool.

Wow.

That is so cool.

Wow.

Thank you, guys.

Amazing.

I think...

What I think is so incredible is how many...

This is what I think about all the time with you guys.

You successful musicians like you.

You have so many songs in your head

that at any moment you just call upon them

and you know them.

You must have hundreds of songs in your head.

I do, actually.

Yeah, I do.

It's...

And I'll bet you...

Well, you tell me.

How do you...

Do you remember the lyrics as you get to that point

in the song?

Because the...

Because...

I'm so sorry.

It's doing it.

This is me doing it right now, Will.

This is...

I just...

Well...

No.

Like...

Here's...

You know...

Jason, imagine Jason's brain is...

It's like an abacus inside.

And it's just moving pieces.

Well, like...

But like for an actor,

like when you're about to go out and do a play,

you can't remember all your lines right then,

but when you get to the fridge,

it's that line,

Hey, who stole my coke?

You know, like...

It comes to you because of the blocking.

I love that you're thinking...

As you say, Frid,

you actually are thinking about the model home

and the rest of the development.

Right.

But I'm just saying,

there are certain things that will jar the next line

based on where you are in the music.

Sure, you can't remember all of the lines at once.

Again, another smart question.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no.

Um...

Yeah, there's a start.

I think Phil Oaks was...

I think he had to do some sort of testimony

in court one time.

Yeah.

They were grilling him about his anti-American lyrics

or something like that.

He couldn't remember them

and they had to go get him a guitar.

Oh, wow.

See?

It might be total bullshit.

I've heard that, though, I think.

I went on tour with Kenny Rogers.

I was a Christmas elf.

Yes.

It's your style.

And I loved Kenny.

I grew up listening to his songs,

but he would forget the lyrics sometimes on stage

and he would just point the microphone to the audience.

And they would just...

You got to know when...

All right.

So when...

Right.

Exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

But anyway.

Yeah.

And you played...

Did you play an elf in this Christmas show?

Yes, I was a Christmas elf.

Yeah.

That's hard to do when you've got a guitar

on your neck.

Jeff, you don't know the gambler.

Do you by any chance get to do it now?

No.

Okay.

I don't think we can afford that either.

Yeah, you're right.

Anyway, Jeffrey, this...

I can't tell you how excited we are

and Jason and Will are

and they are that you're here.

And Andy too.

I've known Andy.

Yeah.

I've met Andy many, many more times

than all of you guys.

Yeah.

You guys know each other?

Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Just from over the year.

Yeah, from him being on the show a million times.

Conan was our first-ever performance

in Uncle Tupelo.

First-ever television performance.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, oh, Uncle Tupelo, man.

And your stage director said,

there's three million people watching.

Don't fuck it up.

Yeah.

That's a recipe for success.

I want to tell you, last year,

we would have killed for that number.

I was wondering how accurate that was.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, yeah.

No, they just...

The numbers keep going down.

Yeah.

But, Jeff Tweedy, thank you for being here.

Oh, yeah.

You got a cruise.

I don't want to take a lot of your time.

Andy Richter, thank you for being here.

Thank you.

Let's say thank you to the director and Jeff Tweedy.

This is amazing.

Thanks.

Thank you so much.

Thank you for being here.

Yeah, yeah.

Great to...

I'm glad to be here.

Come see us play.

Thank you.

Sean?

Sean, are you kidding?

He played a song while we were on the next...

I don't know.

It's surreal.

My face was just staring at him like an idiot.

That's close.

You guys got two guests.

Yeah.

Anyways.

I'm still a little rocked by the whole experience, to be honest.

Yeah, Andy Richter.

I mean he's one of my favorite people.

one of the kindest, nicest, I love him.

So, and Andy, we didn't even get it.

Andy, the three of us used to play cards a lot

back in the day with Andy.

A lot, a lot.

Yeah, a lot.

Like it's a problem.

And Andy was always the funniest guy at the table, always.

And he would, I remember one time we had a bunch of snacks

in my old place in Venice and he came down the stairs

and somebody had brought some fudge.

And Andy comes down the stairs and then he's got fudge

all over his mouth and he comes down and goes,

I learned from the fudge, but somebody must have eaten it.

And it was, the funniest, the stupidest bit.

I love stupid bits.

Well, the only thing that I wish Jeff could have stayed

to play, maybe, if we had more time, is a sweeter song.

You know, maybe like a lullaby.

Bye.

Bye, guys.

Bye.

We love you.

Thank you.

Smart.

Blas.

Smart.

Blas.

SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by

Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjalf, and Bennett Barbago.

SmartLess.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.

It’s hard to find a descriptor… for the delights of Andy Richter.

(Recorded on February 08, 2022)

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